Tag Archives: social media

He said, She said

As graduation has finally arrived for me, I have had a lot of time to reflect on my college experience.  Looking back, I realize how much time I spent socializing with my friends… Actually, just about anybody who would listen to me talk. A result of all this socializing comes the one word everyone says they hate but somehow partakes in it: gossip. Why do we do it? Where would we be without it? Why is it so intriguing?

I’m not saying everyone gossips as much as a group of college-aged girls do, but I am saying that at one point or another everyone has gossiped. My theory is that individuals participate in gossip to form bonds and relationships with other people. I can remember plenty of times chiming into a conversation about another person in order to establish myself among the group. To use my knowledge about another person to my advantage. To climb the ladder of social hierarchy. The one thing is that when this situation would occur I would not knowingly think to myself, “You want a relationship with these people, talk about someone else so they respect you”. It was instinct. It was a natural.

I’m not proud of gossiping in the past and it’s not something I make a habit of doing, but I can recognize why it happens. It’s human to do everything in our power to be accepted by others and gossip is one method in achieving those relationships. We will even purchase gossip magazines to fulfill our needs and watch so-called reality shows that are all centered around people gathering and talking about other people.

I watch Gossip Girl every Monday night. For those who haven’t been studying communication for the past 4 years, the show can easily influence girls to participate in gossip, but it also shows the ugly consequences. Many people would say that this show glamorizes gossiping, but I beg to differ. Every time one of the characters sends a Gossip Girl “blast” about someone to get ahead, the reverse happens.  Throughout the episode where the following clip comes from the different characters have each sent GG blasts resulting in… Well, a pretty interesting graduation ceremony…

Obviously, the mysterious “Gossip Girl” is at the top of the hierarchy and through sending GG blasts the characters attempt in overthrowing the hold she has over each of them. This only causes them to gossip and send “blasts” more and more, putting them on a path of only destruction.

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But is it Facebook Official?

Facebook “relationship statuses” have ultimately changed the world of dating. On a daily basis I hear people asking, “Well, is it Facebook official?”. Since when does having a boyfriend/girlfriend mean you’re expected to announce it to an entire social media site? Now, I have been on the other side of the fence where I was completely consumed with whether or not the guy I was dating would put “in a relationship” on his profile. I started to realize my obsession with a “Facebook relationship” was territorial in the sense that I truely believed if other girls saw he was committed then they’d back off. If he was in a relationship status with me, he would never cheat because “hello, it’s Facebook official, there is no way that could happen!”. For the most part, a rinky-dink Facebook relationship was not going to stop a girl from talking to my boyfriend or prevent my boyfriend from being unfaithful, IT’S JUST TEXT..WORDS.. AN INCOMPLETE SENTENCE. It doesn’t nurture or maintain a relationship, that is done through your personal face-to-face interactions with one another, which in my opinion makes a Facebook relationship status completely insignificant.

Why you should not put your relationship status on Facebook:

  1. Nosey people. People use Facebook to procrastinate, some even stay on the site for hours at a time. This gives others the chance to monitor your personal relationship because it is on your profile for the entire world to see. In my personal experience, I’ve learned that the more people know/talk about your relationship, the more drama.
  2. Public scrutiny. Based off of nosey people, public scrutiny is next on the list. Example: “OMG, Did you hear about how John was talking to Mallory back and forth on his status update? You know his girlfriend, Jill, had to of seen it… and Jill is still with him! She is so dumb”. Enough said.
  3. Break-ups. What is worse when newsfeed announces that you have gone from “In a relationship” to “Single”? Then to rub more salt into the wound, Facebook gives everyone the ability to “like” or “comment” on your recently changed relationship status. Relationships are between you and your boyfriend/girlfriend, it is absolutely unnecessary for anyone to have the opportunity to give thier two cents on your break-up. The emotional connotation associated with having to remove a relationship status is quite silly when you actually think about it.

What I am getting at here is that a Facebook relationship status should not sum up your real-life relationship or how you feel about yourself. Facebook should never define how official your relationship is, that is something that you decide. Like I said before, it’s only a group of words.

Call me old fashioned, but lets go back to the days where giving a girl your letter jacket and getting a malt with a guy at the local diner was enough for people to be content in thier relationships.

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